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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 971
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 11:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.

He returned around 2:30am , and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.


Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"

Big Grin
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Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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docmike



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

pg rated

http://www.speedbandits.dk/

Cool Big Grin
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Mike Currin
93 BMW K1100RS / EML Speed 2000
89 Honda GB 500 (6,700 miles, all original except tires)
67 Triumph 650 chopper
92 Suzuki GS500 (eldest son)
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zentime



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 823
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 10:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bubba, a furniture dealer from Arkansas, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Arkansas.



To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair. He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language, so after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Bubba has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.
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docmike



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Copied from another forum

Quote:
How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb

Answer:

One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed.

Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how
the light bulb could have been changed differently.

Four to complain about the price of lightbulbs here is compared with the usa, and even with shipping would be cheaper.

Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

Three to correct spelling/grammar errors.

Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb".

Another six to condemn those six as stupid.

Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the
correct spelling.

Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.

Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this group.

Thirty six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior,
where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best
for this technique and what brands are faulty.

Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety
including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

Five to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

Four to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

Thirteen to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs."

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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 971
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 11:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's 164 people.
At current, we have 176. That leave 12 lurkers.
Thinking
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Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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sidecarkeith



Joined: 06 Jan 2007
Posts: 336
Location: yorkshire uk

PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just love the jokes on here, I've been laughing all morning Laughing
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docmike



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Ralph



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 570
Location: Lexington, Ky

PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 3:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brought to you by "Road Plug Are Us" Laughing
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sidecarkeith



Joined: 06 Jan 2007
Posts: 336
Location: yorkshire uk

PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:31 pm    Post subject: Hope you like this Reply with quote

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sidecarkeith



Joined: 06 Jan 2007
Posts: 336
Location: yorkshire uk

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 8:44 pm    Post subject: grandma Reply with quote

The family wheeled Grandma out on the Lawn in her Wheelchair where the activities for her 100th Birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to comunicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members straightened her up, & stuffed pillows on her Right.
A short time later Grandme started leaning off to her Left, so again the family grabbed her, & stuffed pillows under her Left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family grabbed her, & tied a pillow case around her waist, to hold her up.
A grandson, who arrived late, came up to Grandma & said "Hi Grandma;you're looking good, are they treating you well?"
Grandma took out her little notepad & slowly wrote a note to the Grandson;"They wont let me Fart".
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zentime



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 823
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 9:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing Laughing
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docmike



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What did the bra say to the top hat?

You go on ahead, I'll stay and give these two a lift.
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Mike Currin
93 BMW K1100RS / EML Speed 2000
89 Honda GB 500 (6,700 miles, all original except tires)
67 Triumph 650 chopper
92 Suzuki GS500 (eldest son)
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sidebike



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 160
Location: Cabot Trail, Cape Breton Island Nova Scotia

PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 4:55 am    Post subject: URAL one horse power Reply with quote



URAL one horse power Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 971
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying her flowers.

The Redhead sighs and says: "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says: "You don't like getting flowers from your boyfriend?"
The redhead replies: "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says: ........"Don't you have a vase?"
Confused
_________________
Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 971
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Bathtub Test


During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized..

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor, "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
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