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Ralph



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 577
Location: Lexington, Ky

PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

THE SERGEANT MAJOR

An old but still ruggedly handsome Sergeant Major found himself at a
gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage
of idealistic young ladies in attendance, and one of them approached him
for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.
Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his ribbons and decorations and said, "It
looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said,
"You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the
wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking
everything so seriously!? I mean, no sex since 1955!?"

Feeling charitable and a little bit drunk, she took his hand and led
him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest
and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his
matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."
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"So Soon Old & So Late Smart"
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

An inspiring religious tale . . .
The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
“Mother,” the nuns asked with earnest, “please give us some wisdom before you die.”
She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, “Don’t sell that cow.”
Bubba
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Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at
him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where
he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think
you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to
his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from the bachelor party
that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your
partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, " No, I'm your son's math teacher".
_________________
Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ahkmed the Arab, came to the United States from the Middle East, and he was only here a few months when he became very ill.

He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him. Finally, he went to an Arab doctor who said:

"Take dees bocket, go Into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your head down over de bocket an breathe in de fumes for ten minutes."

Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the Bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten Minutes.

Coming back to the doctor he said, "It worked. I feel
terrific! What was wrong with me?"

The doctor said, "You were homesick!"
_________________
Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

THE HAIRCUT...

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit, and inquired of his
father if they could discuss his use of the family car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son.
"You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a
little, get your hair cut, and we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd go for the offer,
and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks the father said,
"Son, I've been real proud.
You brought your grades up, and I've observed that you have been studying
your Bible .. but I'm real disappointed that you haven't gotten your hair
cut...!"

The young man paused a moment then said,
"You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my
studies of the Bible that
Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair,
and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair...!"

To which his father replied,
"Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went...?"
_________________
Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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docmike



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 12:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hill Billy dating

http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_sep2006/SidecarPig.htm
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Ralph



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 577
Location: Lexington, Ky

PostPosted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cute I thought about Bill S when I saw this. Laughing

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/231218/video/R/CFD_1002/
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ralph wrote:
Cute I thought about Bill S when I saw this. Laughing

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/231218/video/R/CFD_1002/


I watched the entire hamster song, but I did not get why it reminds you of Bill Strong.
_________________
Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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Ralph



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 577
Location: Lexington, Ky

PostPosted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Embarassed Sorry I always think of you as Bill Shehe Very Happy
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ralph wrote:
Embarassed Sorry I always think of you as Bill Shehe Very Happy


Ooooohhhhhh…
….I don’t get it.

Yes, there is a Mc in there.
Crazy
_________________
Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 10:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man goes into an elevator, looks around and notices that he is alone
except for this great, big, huge black guy standing next to him. The big guy
sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7' tall, 350 lbs.,
20" penis, testicles - 3 lbs each, Turner Brown."

The little man faints dead away and falls to the floor The big guy kneels
down and brings him back by slapping his face and shaking him.

He asks, "Are you OK?"

In a weak voice, the little man says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say
to me?

The big guy says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured
I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7'
tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20" penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my
name is Turner Brown."

The little man said, "Oh thank God! I thought you said TURN AROUND!"
_________________
Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 3:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

After a long night of making love,he notices a photo of
another man on her night stand by the bed. He begins
to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to
be reassured.

"No, no, no!!!" she answers.

"Well, who in the heck is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery."
Shocked
_________________
Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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Dar



Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 342
Location: Ballston Spa, NY

PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ralph wrote:
Sorry I always think of you as Bill Shehe


Or, if you come from a nautical background like me (7 years in the Coast Guard), you would look at the name and think it's Boatswain Mate Chief Sheehy. Question
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dar wrote:
Ralph wrote:
Sorry I always think of you as Bill Shehe


Or, if you come from a nautical background like me (7 years in the Coast Guard), you would look at the name and think it's Boatswain Mate Chief Sheehy. Question


Shocked Confused Big Grin
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 972
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even one drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude.
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other and shrug and deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice boobs," says the man, "where do you want the blinds?"
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