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docmike



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 1:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Motivational Posters for Motorcyclists

http://www.mac-pac.org/temp/motivation.html
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Dar



Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 349
Location: Ballston Spa, NY

PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some great posters there, Mike; in my estimation too good (and TRUE) to be put on the Joke Page. Cool Cool Cool

Dar
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sidecarkeith



Joined: 06 Jan 2007
Posts: 336
Location: yorkshire uk

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 8:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

nice posters and amusing quotes, wonder who sat down and desided what caption to put where.
Keith
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docmike



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
wonder who sat down and desided what caption to put where


Probably not a golfer
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Ralph



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 603
Location: Lexington, Ky

PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory"
to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of
buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back
that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as
a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group
keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much
the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,
kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and
more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after
a few beers.
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4t



Joined: 31 Jan 2005
Posts: 61
Location: dracut,mass.

PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes Ralph that's exactly right ! But why is that only YOU are the smartest one in the room during this consumption Question Laughing Laughing Laughing



4t (HIC!)
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sidecarkeith



Joined: 06 Jan 2007
Posts: 336
Location: yorkshire uk

PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just one problem with that theory,

How come after so many centuries of natural selection, why don't you have a super herd of Buffalo who can run at 100mph ?

I suppose in the same way I would not allow a drunken Doctor perform open heart surgury on me Big Grin Big Grin
Keith
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 991
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

God and the Blonde

A blonde was driving down the street, in a panic because she had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking space.

Looking up toward heaven, she said, "Oh Lord, please take pity on me. If you find me a parking space, I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up sex and tequila."
Miraculously, an empty spot appeared.
She looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
Laughing
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Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
2016 Suzuki Bandit 1250s
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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docmike



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

copied from the K1100 Owners Group forum

Quote:
A “heads up” for those of you who may be regular Home Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you. Here’s how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say “No” and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot or Lowe’s. You agree and they get in the back seat.

On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen August 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th. Also September 1st, 3rd, twice on the 7th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend, providing I can get some more wallets by then.

So be careful!



Cool
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Ralph



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 603
Location: Lexington, Ky

PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What Starts With F and Ends With K

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he ag reed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."


Principal: " What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps in to?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"


The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......
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"So Soon Old & So Late Smart"
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 991
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.
The attorney asked, "May I help you?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."

The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No,
you don't understand, do you have a case?"

The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."

The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a
grudge?"

The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John
Deere."

The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"

The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on
Sundays."

The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or
anything?"

The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."

Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU
WANT A DIVORCE?"

And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation
with her."
Poke
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Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
2016 Suzuki Bandit 1250s
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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sidebike



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 167
Location: Cabot Trail, Cape Breton Island Nova Scotia

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 3:36 am    Post subject: Sprite Reply with quote

http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/side-car/video/x2bqas_spritesidecar_fun



My Website
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bmcsheehy



Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 991
Location: Massachusetts USA

PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A Farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster named Ralph. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Ralph the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Ralph. The farmer takes Ralph home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money." "Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Ralph seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house ! and Ralph takes off like a shot. WHAM! Ralph nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Ralph is in there. Later, the farmer sees Ralph after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Ralph out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Ralph on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Ralph, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Ralph opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh! They're getting closer."
_________________
Bill
High Performance Sidecaring... ...There is nothing "HACKED" about it.
2006 ZX-14 / HANNIGAN HP.
2011 Concourse / California Friendship III.
2016 Suzuki Bandit 1250s
1936 Ford Fordoor Humpback
www.Yankee-Engineering.com
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Ralph



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 603
Location: Lexington, Ky

PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Embarassed
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docmike



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
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Mike Currin
93 BMW K1100RS / EML Speed 2000
89 Honda GB 500 (6,700 miles, all original except tires)
67 Triumph 650 chopper
92 Suzuki GS500 (eldest son)
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